[narrator] Previously on Grey's Anatomy:
Meredith wasn't a fling. I fell in love with her.
Yeah, it's my mother. She has Alzheimer's.
Have you even told Burke about the baby?
I had a right to know.
I failed the medical boards.
That's embarrassing.
I'm pregnant, you blind moron.
Can we please just talk?
You're too busy screwing nurses to talk.
I never wanted to hurt you.
I think we'd be better off with dogs.
[dog growling, barking]
[ The 88: Hide Another Mistake]
[dog barking, growling]
[thudding]
[George] God! Holy... Ow!
- [glass breaking] - I said, down! Back! Izzie!
Izzie! Incoming!
[gasps]
[Meredith] Fresh starts. Thanks to the calendar, they happen every year.
Just set your watch to January.
I'm thinking about coloring my hair.
- Maybe red. - Yeah. Red's good.
- I'm thinking about cutting mine. - Yeah? You look good shorter.
- You think? - Yeah.
[Meredith] He's such a good dog. Who's a good boy? He's a good boy.
What a good dog. Who's Mommy's good boy?
[Meredith chuckles]
Silly. Yes, I know. You're a good boy. You're such a good boy.
What are you guys doing? We're gonna be late.
- We need to talk about the dog. - That's no dog.
It's a hyena dressed in dog clothing.
I don't chew his clothes, urinate on his bed or try to mount him from behind.
People, he's our dog. We love our dog. He loves us.
[whines, growling]
[barking]
- He tries to mount you from behind? - Tries to. He tries to.
[Meredith] Our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year.
Bringing on the great tradition of New Year's resolutions.
I got a trout.
- Oh! - Rainbow trout.
- Why bring a trout into the house? - It's a trailer.
Why bring a rainbow trout into the trailer?
Breakfast.
- Breakfast. - Hungry?
- For trout? - Yeah.
I hate this, Derek.
Ah!
I hate this. Hate! Hate!
I hate this trailer.
So no trout for you then?
[Meredith] Put your past behind you and start over.
I'm standing there with Pritchard and Lewis,
and they keep on asking me who I was with in the on-call room last night.
They heard us. Were we that loud?
- You're loud. - [chuckles] Stop.
I am loud, aren't l?
Pritch. Was always sticking his nose in someone else's business.
You know I actually saw him again, at his wife's funeral?
What? Pritchard isn't married.
Uh... Oh, right, right. I'm thinking of someone else. Just confused.
You need sleep. Residency is wearing you down.
- Ellis? - Yes?
Nothing. I just hate being an intern.
Mm. Me too.
[Meredith] It's hard to resist the chance at a new beginning.
A chance to put the problems of last year to bed.
Mmm.
- So in the name of the New Year... - I don't do resolutions.
In the name of the New Year,
I thought you could give me an answer to my question.
- Your question? - About you... moving in.
[sighs]
I don't have an answer.
- Cristina... - I'm not being Cristina. I just...
I don't have an answer.
Then answer me this.
- What were you planning to do? - About what?
The baby.
[door opens]
Dr. Burke? We're ready for you.
[Richard] Listen up, people. New year, new rules.
Or should I say, new year, and we will be enforcing the rules
mandated by the Residency Review Committee.
There were too many mistakes made last year. Fatigue played too big a role.
Exceeding 80 hours work per week will not be tolerated.
- Does that mean we get to have a life? - I think so.
Sullivan. You were on call for 28 hours. Leave when you hit 30.
Grey, you were here until two. See you at noon.
- I get to go? Free time? - Run before he changes his mind.
Our nurses are gonna have to work extra hours to compensate, so treat them well.
- Cranky nurses don't do us any good. - Well, maybe you can cheer them up.
[Alex chuckles]
You know what? My New Year's resolution was to let it go, and I am.
I have. I've let it go. I apologize.
- You do? - I do.
- How did your test go? - Good, but I won't know for a few days.
- We're all pulling for you. - We are?
We are.
You can see the mesothelioma better now that I've partially dissected it.
[Cristina] Um, I can't...
I can't see it from here. Can I go in closer?
[Burke] You're fine there.
Preston, good news. We have a heart for Denny Duquette.
- Has he been called? - [Richard] Got here ten minutes ago.
I was worried we couldn't find a match in time.
We have a plane to take you to Twin Falls, ldaho for the organ recovery.
90 minutes each way. How much more do you have here?
The heart comes out first. I'd be cutting it too close.
[Richard] They have a local heart team there, so...
No. Bailey. Send Bailey.
She'll be our eyes.
- Dr. Yang, you need to leave this OR. - Excuse me?
You've exceeded your 80-hour limit.
- You have to leave the hospital. - OK. Um... Um...
As soon as the mesothelioma is dissected...
Dr. Yang. Now.
You heard him.
[Richard clears throat]
- Denny Duquette. - Hey, Dr. Bailey.
I hope seeing you here means they found you a heart.
No offense, doctor, but I'm not a big fan of hospitals.
It takes something special to get me in here.
What do we know about Mr. Duquette?
Capricorn, single, loves to travel and cook...
Denny, be quiet. Let her show off.
Denny Duquette, 36, admitted today for a heart transplant
- necessitated by viral cardiomyopathy. - [Bailey] And what does that mean?
His heart can't fill and pump blood normally.
Good. Denny, this is Dr. Stevens. She'll be tending to you prior to surgery.
So I guess I'll be seeing you around, Dr. Stevens.
[woman over PA] Dr. Vale, 27.43. Dr. Vale, 27.43.
Trying to get some action when he's practically a corpse.
He was just being nice.
No one enforced an 80-hour work week when I was an intern.
1 1 0, 1 20 hours suited me just fine. I learned more 'cause I worked more.
You get a rest before you have the baby.
- Being pregnant, keeping up the pace... - You saying I look tired?
No. Not tired. No.
You look... fresh, spry.
You glow. What? You...
[whispers] Stop now.
O'Malley, go do an intake on Addison Shepherd's patient.
Addison.
- You do glow. - Like the moon.
And you can spend the day in the pit, Karev.
[hushed arguing]
Dr. O'Malley.
Hi. Mr. and Mrs. Singleton, Rebecca, this is Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd.
You don't think it's cancer? Bex is too young for cancer, right?
I'm just getting up to speed. I'm sorry. Dr. O'Malley?
- Rebecca's... - Could you stop calling me that?
She prefers Bex. Not Rebecca.
Bex has been admitted for an ultrasound guided
biopsy on an enlargement of a pelvic lymph node.
- OK. Bex, you mind if I check it out? - OK. I'll just, um...
It's a minor procedure, Bex,
but we'll give you a local anesthetic to manage the pain.
What are you drawing?
- Just a dumb comic. - [George] You're really talented.
It's big. I know. It just appeared one day.
I'll perform a biopsy this morning, and Dr. O'Malley will take blood
so we can run some tests, and then we can start to get you some answers. OK?
No need to panic. I'll keep you posted every step of the way.
- Thank you. - OK.
Sorry about this, but I'm going to need that arm to get some blood.
I'll be quick.
Mr. Paskowitz. We've located the source of your abdominal pain.
- There. It's called a bezoar. - Bezoar, huh?
Foreign matter that couldn't be expelled with a prokinetic agent.
I love it. In a hospital a laxative is a "prokinetic agent".
- You just go up his butt and grab it? - Baby. Please.
We won't be able to reach it that way. We'll have to get it from here.
So, Mauer, tell me what you have been eating?
Garbage. Absolute garbage.
Could you be more specific?
Tell him what you ate, Mauer.
He's a writer.
- Suffering for his art. - OK.
- He ate his novel. - I'm sorry, what?
I ate my novel, OK? The whole damn thing.
Every last piece of that unmitigated crap.
[ Psapp: Cosy in the Rockef]
- The labs for Bex Singleton. - Anything?
Her hormone levels, estrogen, progesterone, are sky-high.
Huh. You did a history, right? Any mention of birth control pills?
- No. But her parents were right there. - Talk to her again.
She hasn't hit puberty. She would be having sex?
These days, Dr. O'Malley, it's not that unusual. Talk to the patient.
- Derek. - Morning, Richard.
- You busy? - No, my surgery just got canceled. Why?
- I need a favor. - Sure.
Hey, Bex.
Your mom and dad...
- Food. - Great.
Because I wanted to talk to you. Your lab... The work...
Have you been taking birth control pills?
- If you tell my mom and dad... - No, I won't.
I just need to know why.
Do you have a boyfriend or...
Like anybody would want to have sex with me.
Well, then why?
I'm as flat as a board.
I took like five of those pills a day, and nothing's different.
Boobs, dude.
You... were trying to make your breasts grow?
I wanted to be normal for once in my life.
- Did this cause the tumor? - No.
The pill wouldn't have any effect on your lymph nodes.
The amount that you were taking is really dangerous.
And it caused a pretty major hormonal imbalance.
- Have you been feeling different? - I feel like I always feel.
[elevator dings]
[ Kraak And Smaak: One of These Days]
- Hi. - Hi.
- You leaving? - 80-hour limit.
- You? - Surgery was postponed.
- I have a dog. - You have a dog?
- My point is, I have a dog. - You have a dog.
Oh, you know what? I love dogs.
I've moved on, so don't give me that look.
What look?
- That look. Our look. I'm over you. - I'm over you too.
- You are? - No.
Oh. Well, I am.
Over you.
- I'm over you too. - You just said... Shut up.
[bell dings]
- Hi. - Bye.
[sighs]
There is a land called Passive-Aggressiva
- and you are their queen. - I am fine.
- Except when you shriek about trout. - I was not.
- You were shrieking about Meredith. - I was shrieking about the trailer.
- Last three weeks have been about that? - Yes.
- Not about saying I love Meredith? - "Loved."'
- What? - You said "loved."' Past tense.
Yes, past tense.
Well, then I have been shrieking about the trailer.
[bell dings]
[sighs]
Mauer, time to return your book to the library. Surgery is in an hour.
- What's this sweat? - Probably nerves.
But I'm sweating like Nixon. President Richard Milhous Nixon.
That guy could sweat. And l, Mauer Paskowitz,
I wrote an epically crap novel, but I can sweat like Nixon.
It's not even that bad. I read practically every draft.
Forgive me, but you are not Lionel Trilling.
- It blows. - Lionel Trilling?
He seeks the approval of dead critics.
- The dead don't read. - Ever think about being
- something other than a writer? - No.
I am a writer. Mauer Paskowitz. I have no plan B.
We can't marry for three years until the book is done.
Three years I listen to him piss and moan for what? So he can eat the thing?
- Ha! - Your computer have a "delete" button?
I wanted to literally put it behind me and start a new book.
OK, we all get the symbolism. It's painfully obvious.
- And obviously painful. - [chuckles]
[desk attendant] All set, Dr. Bailey.
[nurse on PA] Dr. Marshall to OR 2. Dr. Marshall to OR 2.
Hey. Hi. I heard you were going to Twin Falls, ldaho. I've never been.
- You reached 80 hours? - Technically.
You're off work, Cristina. Go enjoy your day.
No, I'll enjoy my day if I can help retrieve a heart. I promise.
It's a nice coat.
- You see that, Dr. O'Malley? - The tumor is compressing an ovary.
Yep. That's why I biopsied both ovaries.
- Is that bad? - It's just a precaution, Bex.
- Apply pressure, Dr. O'Malley. - Mm-hm.
[meter beeps]
I'll get this to path. Mind doing the dressings?
[George] Sure.
All right, Bex. Then we'll get you the results just as soon as possible.
[door closes]
You're a doctor. Haven't you seen scars before?
Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out
why someone with so much talent would want to do that.
It's just a comic book.
It's about me and my best friend Jenn when we were kids.
- Satisfied? - Does she write it with you?
Jenn has a boyfriend like everyone else.
I get to be a freak all by myself.
Oh, a freak. That's not the easiest thing to be in high school, is it?
You sound like my shrink.
Hey, I wasn't always a doctor. In high school...
...I was secretary and treasurer
of the Dungeons and Dragons club.
- Oh, man. - Yeah.
I was also a mathlete, and I won the blue ribbon in biology club.
Best fetal pig dissection.
And let me tell you, that had the girls knocking down my door.
You just have to get through high school.
'Cause high school sucks for anyone who's the least bit different.
But then there's college, and then out in the real world,
you'll find where you fit in.
- You think so? - Yeah, I know so.
[monitor beeping rapidly]
- Hi. - Denny. I thought you were asleep.
Nah, I don't sleep in hospitals. I'm scared I'll never wake up.
- Can I ask you something personal? - If I say no?
I'll hold my breath which will stop my heart, killing me.
You're here. You'll be charged with murder.
Lifetime in prison being loved by a big old girl named Hilde.
My choices are homicide charges
or inappropriate personal questions from a patient?
- I know. Kinda sucks. - Hold your breath.
I'll take my chances with Hilde. I can do girl-on-girl.
Oh! See, how can I blackmail you if you bring up girl-on-girl?
What do you want to know?
- That guy Alex... you with him? - No.
- Not anymore. And never, ever again. - Good.
- Good? - Yeah. Good.
It means I won't have to fight him for you.
Why do you think I want you to fight for me?
- Hello. You are in love with me. - Am l?
Yeah, it's not your fault. I mean, I'm well-off, but I'm not into money.
I'm smart, but I'm not a know-it-all. I'm funny.
I'm... I'm really nice. I love animals.
And I'm hot. I'm a catch.
You know, if you can wrap your head around
the enlarged failing heart and the dependency to lV meds.
[sighs]
You're right. I am so in love with you.
It's a shame really. Since I'm with Hilde and all.
[both laughing]
There. Five loads of laundry.
I have literally washed the past out of my life.
[whines]
[man over PA] Dr. Calls, 2241. Dr. Calls, 2241.
- You paged me? - [Addison] Yeah.
Have a look at this. It's Bex's biopsy.
- Biopsied ovary? - Not exactly.
Arrange a meeting with Bex's parents, George.
Find the psychiatrist, if they're available.
- Does she have cancer? - No.
- That's not an ovary. It's a testis. - A testis?
- Are you sure? - Yes. I'm sure.
- Bex is a hermaphrodite? - Yes.
Yang? Why are you staring at my fat pregnant belly?
Sorry. I...
Let me get this straight. You're telling me that our daughter,
you're telling me my daughter might actually be a boy?
That... how is that possible? I don't understand. I don't understand how...
- Shouldn't this have been detected? - Externally, Bex has female genitalia.
She looks like a girl,
but internally she has both female and male sex organs.
So, what now? What are we supposed to do? I don't understand.
[Addison] OK, the best news is that the lymph node tumor is benign.
So physically, Bex is going to be just fine,
but emotionally, psychologically, I strongly recommend therapy.
- [Mr. Singleton] She's in therapy. - For all of you.
This is not gonna be easy for Bex to hear,
and it's not gonna be an easy adjustment for you to make.
- What kind of adjustment? - My poor girl.
Many intersex people begin to identify very strongly with one sex.
And it's not necessarily the sex they've been raised.
She's a girl. She looks like a girl. She has always been a girl.
This at least helps explain why she feels so different.
The point is, biologically and emotionally speaking,
- she has a choice to make. - A choice?
[Mauer] My mouth feels all weird.
Chewing paper will have that effect.
- [Alex] Weird how? - Pins and needles.
No, needles and pins. Needles and pins. Yeah, yeah.
Sprouting from my fingers and toes like... Iike...
- Lord God, give me a simile. - Is he always this way?
The man ate a novel. He's not exactly normal.
But he got weirder the more he ate. He's, like, obsessed.
I'm Dr. Webber. I'm gonna be performing your surgery today.
I poured my heart and soul into that freaking book,
and now it's stuck up my ass.
Put that on my tombstone, Audrey. On my tombstone.
[woman over PA] Dr. Love to OR 2. Dr. Deb Love to OR 2.
- Hey, Dr. Stevens. - Hey, Denny. You OK?
I've been waiting for this a long time, you know?
You'll open my chest, take my heart and replace it with another.
Well, not me. And not another heart, a better heart.
[sighs]
What if something goes wrong?
Don't be nervous. Dr. Burke is an incredible surgeon.
You're getting a new heart today. Keep thinking of that.
- Yeah. OK. - Denny.
Preston Burke. My favorite cardiothoracic surgeon.
Your only cardiothoracic surgeon, but thanks.
I'll be on the phone with Dr. Bailey during the organ recovery.
We want to make sure the heart stays viable,
isn't damaged while the other organs are perfused.
We'll have you in the OR, and if it is a go,
we start the procedure before she even gets back.
- Hey, lzzie. - Yeah?
I'm getting a new heart.
You're getting a new heart.
- I'll see you. - Bye.
[ Cary Brothers: Ride]
[Mr. Singleton] Excuse me.
[clears throat] Uh...
Mary and I were talking, and we think Bex should stay...
She can't handle something like this.
- You saw the scars. - You're not gonna tell her?
But this could help her.
- You can't not tell her who she is. - Dr. O'Malley.
We'll proceed with surgery to remove the tumor.
You can talk to your daughter in your own time.
Actually, we were thinking...
We thought, since you're already going to be in there...
We know "fixed" isn't the right word but...
[Mrs. Singleton] We thought that with the hormonal confusion,
it might be easier on her to remove whatever boy parts she has.
- Keep her more of a girl. - You're asking me to perform
sexual reassignment surgery on her?
- [both] Yes. - Without her knowing?
[Mr. Singleton] All she's said all her life is that she wants to be normal.
- She doesn't feel normal. - Why can't we put an end to her agony?
Removing her male sexual organs may not do that.
- It could do the opposite. - But her hormones...
Can be controlled with oral medication.
We just want the best for Bex.
To do surgery and alter her body permanently is...
I would not do that on someone who's unaware of the procedure,
and you're gonna be hard-pressed to find a surgeon who will.
Bex will learn the truth some day.
How do you want her to find out?
Excuse me.
- Meredith. Hi. - Hi.
I had the morning off, so I came to see my mother.
- She's in the sitting room. - Thanks.
She's in good spirits. Visitors really cheer her up.
Visitors?
[Meredith] What are you doing here?
There is a clinical trial to study early-onset Alzheimer's.
OK, me you can screw with.
My mother? No. Not acceptable.
Similar studies have had promising results.
- Your mother is a prime candidate. - She is sick and has few good days.
I don't want her poked and prodded for some experiment.
- I'm just trying to help. - What you're doing?
Being dreamy? It doesn't help.
It hurts me. It messes with my head.
- I know the feeling. - I don't doubt that.
But you have a wife to go home to.
And I'm guessing she has no idea where you are right now.
[chuckles]
- No, she doesn't. - That's what I thought.
[sighs]
- [nurse] Dr. Bailey? - Thanks. Dr. Burke?
[Preston] What are we looking at?
The donor is on 25 mics of dopamine.
25 mics? That's too much.
They started him on five mics of dobutamine 30 minutes prior to arrival.
Are they trying to kill my heart? What is the CVP?
- CVP? - [Cristina] Around ten.
- Ten. - MAP close to 80.
- [Burke] Mean arterial pressure? - Close to 80.
I can live with a CVP as low as five and a MAP about 60.
- That heart must be off dobutamine. - The heart must be off dobutamine.
And tell them to get the dopamine back down to ten mics.
Get them to get another two units of blood. [groans]
- We a go, doc? - Still no final word.
I want the healthiest heart I can find.
Dr. Stevens, you'll be in there with us, right?
Yeah. I'll be in there with you.
[Richard] All right, we're going to remove...
Aren't you supposed to be having free time?
Oh, I did five loads of laundry, cut my split ends, studied,
cleaned out the fridge. Free time sucks.
When would have been the right time to hear about your boyfriend's wife?
- OK, are you mad at me or something? - No. No.
Sorry. I have this patient, and I get that there's a right and a wrong time
to hear big news, but wouldn't you rather know sooner than later?
I mean, just so you can move forward one way or the other.
I mean, it's a fresh start, right?
[Richard] See the little white line of Toldt?
Now we can mobilize the lateral border of the left colon. Clamp.
When Leo Tolstoy here wakes up
you might get him to revisit the idea of a new vocation.
- [Alex] He was pretty against the idea. - Hopefully it was just delirium.
If it's all right, I'd like to keep an eye on him post-op.
- He was acting strange. - He ate a novel. Clearly, he's strange.
It's just, I don't want to overlook anything.
Seriously, Karev. I'm short-handed all over the hospital.
OK, here we go.
Anybody here tempted to read this?
No takers?
Could be the great American novel. We'll never know.
He needs a plan B.
[Alex] He's not the only one.
[Richard] You don't think you passed?
- I thought I passed the first time. - Well, let's wait and see.
Right now, today, you're still here.
Did you tell my parents about the pill?
No.
Am I gonna die? Is that what no one wants to tell me?
- Of course not. - Then why are my parents acting so...
Will you just tell me what's going on?
We're prepping you for surgery
to remove the lymph node tumor that's compressing your...
Ovary.
Hey, Bex. How are you doing?
Mom, Dad, this is really freaking me out.
- Oh, no. Everything's gonna be fine. - It's OK, sweetie.
I'm having surgery to remove a tumor that's compressing my ovary.
Right, George?
Dr. O'Malley.
George?
- What, am I supposed to lie to her? - OK. That's enough.
- Please leave the room. - [Bex] No. Wait.
Tell me what's wrong with me.
What is wrong with me?
Bex...
[clears throat]
We learned that your tumor...
it's not compressing an ovary.
Then where is it?
It's on a testis.
Like a testicle?
- I have testicles? - [Addison] Yes. One.
Bex, this is a tremendous amount of information...
And I've had it my whole life?
Oh, my God.
Does this mean...?
Does this mean I could be a boy?
[whispers] Yes.
You engineered that conversation. Forced our hand.
You were lying.
- Protecting her. - She's a 1 4-year-old girl.
Maybe. Maybe not.
This isn't your life. This isn't your child!
Fourteen years. Fourteen years, we have raised a daughter.
In one afternoon, you expect us to... What? What is Bex to do?
How is she supposed to go home and tell the other kids? What? You had no right.
No. I know. I'm off the case, right?
[Mrs. Singleton sobs]
Whoa, Mauer. Mauer.
Lay back. You just had surgery. You're losing your shirt, man.
Much obliged... [stammers] Much obliged, pal.
How you feeling?
What's whacked for 20, Alex?
Weeds whacked weeds.
Weeds whacked for 200.
Way, way whacked.
- [Derek I saw Ellis. - [Richard] And?
I think I can get her into the trial. She's a perfect candidate.
Excellent. Thank you, Derek.
It requires Meredith's power of attorney.
Yeah.
Might be better if it comes from you. With me, there's baggage.
You? You're just trying to help out a friend.
Right.
Let me know if Meredith wants me to call.
[man over PA] Dr. Boyd to CTU. Dr. Boyd to CTU.
Karev? What are you doing?
- Research on the bezoar patient. - I told you I needed you on the floor.
He has fever, sweats, tingling lips, fingers, toes, mood swings,
Iack of coordination and did I mention the crazy talk?
- Your point? - My point is, he ate his novel.
- I know. - Mercury is in the paper.
He's got mercury poisoning.
Cristina, call Burke.
I'm feeling some fairly extensive damage from coronary artery disease.
Um...
[Bailey] Yang?
[cell phone rings]
- Talk to me, Bailey. - [Cristina] It's me.
I can't talk. I'm waiting on a call from Bailey.
I'm with Bailey.
You're in ldaho?
- Yeah. - You're breaking the rules.
Yes.
Preston. What's happening with our heart?
Hello, Dr. Webber. Tell me what I need to know about Denny's heart, Dr. Bailey.
[indistinct]
[phone rings]
Thank you.
This program Derek looked into was a favor to me.
- Nice try. - Sometimes a favor is just a favor.
This treatment won't cure your mother or give her a new lease on life,
but it may give her more good days.
I urge you to consider.
Lying here trapped in this flesh prison, I've reached a grim conclusion.
I'm a failure.
- You know how that feels? - Dude, if you only knew.
Even my manic attempt to put my failed novel behind me failed.
Time for a plan B, I reckon.
Time indeed.
Perhaps I shall play the cello.
Well, we make a mistake here, and people die. Happens all the time.
- All the time? - There's a lot.
Is this part of the hallucination?
My point is we all have setbacks, Mauer. But I'm a doctor, and you're a writer.
We don't have a plan B.
Call security.
Have you determined a course of treatment for the mercury poisoning?
The patient has been administered a chelator called British Antileukocyte
which will absorb the mercury over the next several days.
Good work, doctor.
Yang.
Know what's wrong with having an 80-hour limit? It protects the weak.
It levels the playing field. Which not only sucks, it's dangerous.
Eighty-hour work week? That's what's on your mind?
I thought about it.
- Not keeping it. - You did?
My husband and l, we tried for years.
But still, when that stick turned blue...
You can't work the way we work,
you can't want the kind of careers that we want
and not take... pause.
I took pause.
- You paused? - I paused. I paused a very long time.
So why did...?
I sat up one night, middle of the night...
and I knew I could do this.
I still don't know how I'm gonna do this, but... I knew I could do it.
You just have to know.
And when you don't know, then no one can fault you for it.
You do what you can, when you can, while you can.
And when you can't, you can't.
- You're stalking me. You're a stalker. - Well, can you blame me?
So it's bad?
- You have time. - Liar.
- Fine. There's no time. - Now, that's just spiteful.
I didn't get the heart?
You didn't get the heart.
- [George] Hey. - Hey, George.
Hey, I just... I just wanted to check in on you.
Heard my parents weren't too happy with you.
Nope.
Thanks for telling me. For making them tell me.
You know, um, there are people that you can talk to.
- I can... - I know.
- George, do I have to be a boy now? - No.
- But I can if I want to?
Yeah, you can. If you want.
Hey, could you...?
Would you bring me some scissors?
[Meredith] Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins?
[elevator dings]
[Derek sighs]
Derek.
- Hi. - T ell me about the program.
It's not a day on a calendar, not a birthday, not a new year.
- Denny. I'll see you. - Goodbye, Dr. Stevens.
- Hey. He's leaving? - Didn't get the heart.
- Sorry. - Yeah.
- He's a good guy. - Yeah. He is.
[ Slow Runner: Break Your Momma's Back]
[Meredith] It's an event. Big or small.
Something that changes us.
Ideally, it gives us hope.
A new way of living and looking at the world.
[sizzling]
I'm cooking the trout outside.
Thank you.
Oh.
There is a land called Passive-Aggressiva...
- and I am their queen. - That's all I'm saying.
So what? With Meredith...
Am I supposed to just wait it out? Wait until it passes?
That'd be good.
I still hate the trailer. [sighs]
As is your right.
[Meredith] Letting go of old habits, old memories.
I wasn't gonna have it. The baby. And you don't get to be mad about that.
We barely knew each other. I was an intern.
- There was no way... - I'm not mad.
- You're not? - No.
I just wanted to know.
I want to know things.
[Meredith] What's important is that we never stop believing
we can have a new beginning.
[dog barking]
[Meredith] Doc, that was my laundry. You don't eat laundry.
Bad dog! Bad dog! Bad!
[dog barking, door rattling]
[Meredith] But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap
are a few things really worth holding on to.